Healing the Mother-Son Relationship: 7 Strategies for Reconnecting

As a mother, you want to have a strong, healthy relationship with your teenage son, but sometimes it can feel impossible. Maybe past betrayals or misunderstandings have caused a slowly widening rift, leaving you both feeling hurt and frustrated.

There’s hope. You can take practical steps to heal your relationship and build a deeper connection with your son.  In fact, by intentionally practicing these strategies your relationship will be even healthier than if you never had these problems to begin with. Here’s how to get started:

1. Acknowledge the problem.

The first step in any healing process is to admit that there's a problem. Ignoring or denying the issue will only make it harder to address. Be honest with yourself and your son that you want to fix the relationship.

2. Active listening.

Actively listening to your son's thoughts and feelings without judgment is crucial to building a healthy relationship. It's important to understand his perspective and take it into account as you work towards a resolution. Remember, his perspective is not yours, and what works for you may not work for him.

3. Calm communication.

Be transparent about your thoughts and feelings, and avoid becoming defensive or dismissive. Having a candid conversation can help you both understand each other better. At the same time, recognize that he’s a teenage boy and is likely not as good at talking or listening as a mature woman.

4. Seeking help.

Sometimes, relationships are so strained that you need outside help. A therapist or counselor can provide an objective perspective, identify underlying issues, and give you both the tools you need to heal the relationship. This is especially necessary if the relationship is so strained that you can not even have a civil conversation about important topics. A trained counselor can moderate the conversation so both sides can express their opinions calmly and respectfully.

5. Focus on the positive.

It's easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns, especially when you're dealing with a strained relationship. However, dwelling on negative experiences and emotions can make it difficult to move forward. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your son. This can include his strengths and positive qualities, as well as any positive experiences you've shared together.

6. Patience and hope.

Healing a relationship takes time and effort requiring patience and perseverance. Expect challenges, and remember that your love and flexibility will pay off in the end.

7. Love and appreciation.

Finally, it's important to show your son that you love and appreciate him. Make an effort to be present in his life, listen to him, and express your love and appreciation in words. 

In conclusion, healing a relationship between a mother and son takes effort and commitment. By following the above strategies, you can build a stronger and healthier relationship with your son. You were chosen as his mother for a reason. It's never too late to start the healing process, and the effort you put in will be worth it in the end.